Wake Up From Your Identity Crisis

Wake Up From Your Identity Crisis

I don’t know how this post is gonna go. It might be a combination of ranting and venting but in the end, I hope something good comes out of it. I guess my point is simple, why would you invest time and effort in making money for others an not do the same, if not better, for the individual(s) you should care the most, i.e YOU and YOUR FAMILY?.

Honestly, this is just nonsense. Is it because our identity is so tied to what we do to the point that we unconsciously let it be the only thing that matters in life? or is it because we see money as the root of all evil? … your guess is as good as mine but the reality is you should wake up from your identity crisis and start making some changes in your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and on top of that I’m very well compensated; however, like I told one of my coworkers the other day, I won’t let my job define who I am and be the only motivating factor behind my personal and professional development.

Why? my answer is simple … I’m an employee and as such I’m 100% dispensable. If shit hits the fan my company could decide to let everyone go and I’d be no exception.

The way I see it, my company and I have an arrangement. I give them my time with the goal of delivering high-quality results to achieve business objectives and in return, I get compensated accordingly. 

If I’m sounding too cold well so be it … It’s all business

If you believe your employer cares more about you than making money then you need a wake-up call. You’re there to positively influence the success of the business and the day you stop performing or you become a slacker your employer will decide to part ways. No matter how well you get along with people or how cool you are it’s your work and performance which will dictate the duration of the business transaction you’ve agreed to embark on with your employer.

So where am I going with this? am I pissed with my 9-5? Do I want you to be pissed with your 9-5? The answer is No. I’m not upset and I don’t want you to be.

As I said, I have a great job and happen to work with great people on pretty cool projects; however, I want you to be mindful and reflect on things that truly matter. 

To this day, I remember the advice my father gave me when I was young …

“Son, when things are going great save as much as you can. Bad things happen in life so the more prepared you are the better”

Exchanging Time For A Paycheck

Having your feet on the ground is a step in the right direction but you can’t beat common sense. My employer and I have an agreement but it is my rightful duty to get the best valuation for my time to make sure it is a win-win situation for both parties.

In the end, you’re taking time away from someone or things you care about. It only seems fair you should exchange that time for income and benefits and maximize those to the best of your ability.

But let me ask you something:

  • What’s your purpose?
  • What brings happiness and joy to your life?
  • What makes you tick?
  • If you had all the money in the world what would you do?
  • Would you still be doing what you’re doing?

If so, wouldn’t it be nice to do it all because you want to but not because you have to?

Have a Purpose

I can assure you one thing, we don’t have all the money in the world and will never do. However, we’re working really hard to have options and freedom to do whatever the hell we want. It just so happens that money is the vehicle that provides those options. If this is the objective, then wouldn’t it make sense for us to learn everything we can about money?.

If we want to get there sooner rather than later shouldn’t we start now instead of letting other things get in the way of our financial plan? Aside from our faith and family what could possibly be more important? … work?

I care about work but we care more about me and my family. Work is helping us get to where we want to be but we feel we owe it to ourselves to care more about our own future than work

Are we wrong to think this way? does this make me a terrible employee? … honestly, I don’t think so. There’s more to life than work, therefore, why should I let my job dictate who I am or who I should be? As long as my desire to reach my personal objectives does not interfere with my ability to add value then everything should be fine.

Technical/leadership training is important; however, I invest the same amount of time and effort (if not more) in learning about topics that will help us achieve our personal and financial goals.

As I reflect on this, I can’t avoid thinking about folks that only care about their jobs to the point they forget about their future. I wonder if these individuals have actually spent any time thinking about it in detail. Time is of the essence and the longer they wait the longer it will take.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you spend time making sure you’re improving efficiencies around all aspects of your financial strategy? or,
  • Are you putting things off because you just don’t have time to think about anything else outside of work?.

An Identity Crisis

If you think I’m obsessed with making money let me stop you right there cause I’m not. Instead, I’m obsessed with the idea of having options to do whatever I want. This concept is so powerful; however, is only possible if you have FU money.

The beauty of FU money is that you’re essentially freeing yourself from HAVING to do something to WANTING to do something. The video below summarizes Jim’s point of having FU money.

Whether you continue to work or not, that’s up to you; however, the fundamental differentiator for you is the switch from NEED to WANT. This is pretty cool in my mind but it brings up a few questions.

  1. If your decision is to retire early what are you gonna do afterward?
  2. Have you put a plan in place so that you’re in a position to RETIRE TO something instead of RETIRING FROM something?
  3. What will be your purpose once you reach Financial Independence?
  4. If you were at a bar and somebody engaged in a conversation how would you introduce yourself?
  5. Will you be able to emotionally detach yourself from the work you’ve done for 10+ years?

As I continue to write this post, I find it somewhat difficult to answer these questions; however, I would like to highlight two key takeaways:

  • Planning is critical … figure out what brings happiness to your life and lay the foundation to retire to that new chapter of your life.
  • Your job does not define who you are … Yes, you might be an engineer, lawyer, etc, but beyond that, you’re probably a father/mother, husband/wife, somebody’s brother/sister, a volunteer, somebody who enjoys the outdoors, music, personal finance, etc.

Embrace Awkwardness 

Today, I was having a beer with one of my buddies from work. He’s also passionate about Personal Financial and is very interested in reaching Financial Independence. As we were talking I asked him: how would you introduce yourself if someone came over to say hi?

He thought about it for a second and immediately felled compelled to say what he did for a living. When he finished, I asked him, but isn’t it true that you’re a father of two amazing girls and a husband of a wife who enjoys the outdoors?

He was speechless for a minute but then agreed it was an interesting perspective he had never thought about. We kept chatting and we both agreed that our society has a major role. But should it?

Final Thoughts

  • Defining who we are is intimately related to the expectations society has from every one of us. Like it or not, that’s our reality.
  • Going to school, getting a degree, joining the workforce, and retiring at age 65 seems to be the typical path; however, the word “typical” has no place in the world of Personal Finance and more specifically the Financial Independence (FI) community.
  • Before you reach Financial Independence or Retiring Early, consider having a plan in place for the next chapter of your life.
  • Whether you retire early or not having options gives you more power than you might think.
  • Make an effort to wake up form your identity crisis.
  • Detach yourself from what you do for a living. Work is just one aspect of your life and definitely not the most important one.

So let me ask you something how do you introduce yourself to others? 

Until next time … JJ

2 thoughts on “Wake Up From Your Identity Crisis

    1. Ana, thanks for sharing the link to the video which by the way I found it to be very thought-provoking. Purpose is key but I like your comments on autonomy and mastery. It seems you’re doing a great job working on the latter in the context of your photography business. Thanks again for stopping by.

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